| Diamanda Hagan | |
|---|---|
 ' | |
|
AKA |
God-Empress Diamanda Hagan |
|
Allies |
|
|
Enemies |
|
|
Universe |
|
|
Actor |
Jerrica Benton |
Diamanda Hagan is the God-Emperess of Haganistan. Some say a villain, others a leader, others a god. The rest say a screwed up reviewer of random crap in her DVD collection.
History[]
Diamanda Hagan resides in a different universe from the Storyteller, but not the same universe as Genocron and Alter-Zack.
During her review of Where the Dead Go to Die, she sent a copy of the film to the Storyteller. Not knowing what he was getting into, Storyteller started to watch the film, only to be driven to suicidal despair by what he witnessed. Thankfully, he remembered that he could just turn the movie off, thus saving his life and his sanity.
During the Storyteller's review of In Gramps' Shoes, her voice unexpectedly echoed through the air, singing a mocking song about drama.
After the Storyteller defeated the End Times movies led by the Left Behind reboot, The Potential appeared in Hagan's universe, warning her of the Storyteller's accomplishment. This enraged Hagan, and she immediately set her minions to start searching the multiverse for the Storyteller, stating that "No one out-reviews Diamanda Hagan!"
Meeting the Storyteller[]
Title card from Diamanda Hagan's crossover with the Storyteller
One of Hagan's minions eventually tracked down the Storyteller, and after determining that they were indeed the most diametrically opposed reviewers in the multiverse, she demanded that they co-review the end times movie Megiddo: The Omega Code 2. The Storyteller reluctantly agreed, and over the course of the review a sort of friendly antagonism grew between them. Granted, the review ended with Diamanda sending a venomous snake to the Storyteller.
The Potential watches Hagan mock the Storyteller
The review was observed by the Potential, who seemed pleased that it had introduced a new antagonist for the Storyteller, though it still wasn't enough for its plans.
Explosive Congratulations[]
To congratulate him on reaching 100 episodes, Hagan contacted the Storyteller and sent him Revelation Road 3: The Black Rider to review. The movie so confused and distress him, that the Storyteller finally swore off doing his show completely. This results was far better than Diamanda anticipated, and she detonated an explosive in the DVD. The explosion nearly killed the Storyteller, and severely damaged his hat. However, the hat regenerated, restoring the Storyteller to health.
Frenemies Reunited[]
Many years later, the Storyteller was briefly brought out of retirement to review a Christian thriller movie with Hagan. Finding common ground on the failures of the movie, the two ended the review sharing a laugh over a terrible joke. Storyteller remarked that the moment was like Batman and the Joker laughing together at the end of "The Killing Joke," (to which Hagan responded that if anyone else called Storyteller the Joker she'd rip their lungs out) and that they should do another review together some time.